...the one thing i have found...

...the longer that i stay on this path... the deeper the fire burns... it's hard to explain... i used to say i was an alcohol fueled whoop ass machine... and now... when i'm able to sit... get things out... and just focus on who i now am and not who i once was... i can feel this fire inside of me... and as it grows my spirits rise... it never goes out... it's inside of all of us... i once wrote that deep inside of me there is this place... a dark sanctuary... place that was once ardorned in light but at the time was in decay... an alter to the darkness... a gothic cathedral that had become a masoleum... the windows covered in soot... the gargolyes sitting in silence awaiting the day that they'd crumble and fall their lifeless eyes staring into nothingness for this place had become nothingness... and yet at the center one lone candle was left... flickering... throwing shadows across the walls like demons dancing in the dark... the thing i always have to remember... it isn't my job to light the candles... it is just my job not to chain the doors... to keep them open... for once i chain the doors it becomes a masoleum... a place to hold something decomposing... but with the doors open... the light and the air can come in and the one who restores all can come in and do His work... and keep me as the fire fueled beastie of light that i was made to be... LLLAKYFOTPA XD