...life... death... the inbetween... and Christmas...

...so... life... death... the inbetween and Christmas... the best and worst part of Christmas... kids... we all know why the best part is... but right now i had to realize whut the worst part could be... my bruther's son is missing... just disappeared... now the hard part of that... he's a legal adult... so... there is no real knowing whut is going on... i have watched this kid grow up... me and his pop have gone through so many similar things in life all through our lives... and now... there is just an empty spot... space... an area to be filled in later... i can't even begin to comprehend whut my bruther is feeling... i lost bubba at a dept store 2 times as a kid... both times during the holidays... one cuz he wandered around the corner so i only lost him for about a second... the second time... Bubba thought it would be cute to play hide and seek... i was with some bruthers at a local dept store right... yeah... that was interesting to say the least... a bunch of the old crew screaming through a large retail store... and then Bubba appearing in an ailse giggling thinking that it was hilarious that he had 'hidden' from us... we didn't think it was so funny... and i'm sure that the other patrons who were watching 8-10 heavily tatted... wallet chain wearin'... pierced... guys with shirts that had Santa holding a ball peen hammer on the front and it said 'Seasons Beatings' on the back... screaming thru the store at breakneck speed yelling for someone named 'Bubba!!!' were also quite relieved when we found him and were returned to our natural festive state since we we doin' toys for tots during that whole fiasco... two moments in life that froze time for me... all of my worst fears had come to life... and my bruther is stuck in a perpetual moment like that... yeah... all i can do is have faith... in that i found out that there has been the first known casualty of winter... at least that i am aware of... a man just a few years older than me... froze to death underneath a minneapolis bridge... that was the place that he had called home... for me... that is unacceptable in the richest country in the world... and this man dies of exposure... in a city where homes that have over 5000 square feet and one or two people live... and he dies alone in the cold... really... and yet... there are children who celebrate a new coat... there are families who now have hope... there are those who have no faces or names who are making a difference... and in that i rejoice... nuch like the faceless... nameless man who once gave a scared kid behind a dumpster a coat... a blanket... and a bag lunch... the only thing that kid will ever know of the man is his jacket... with Salvation Army on the back of it and his voice... the voice of an angel... that simply said... 'don't worry kid, i ain't gonna hurt ya'... let us all take that moment in time where we are that voice to someone who needs it... I say this every year... mebbe so someone hears it... mebbe just to remind myself... Christmas shouldn't be just one day... it should be every day... not the oppulescent moments where we try and buy love... the moments where we just wish our fellow man well... where we give someone else hope... where our smile is the thing that spreads warmth and love... where our voice is that comfort that people just needed at that moment... one more story to think on and then i am gonna git some rest... there was this kid... he had made piss poor desicions... we all do... well his decisions had landed him at a homeless shelter in Minneapolis in his mid teens... arguably the toughest neighborhood in the city at the time... known as murderer's alley...well... this kid had had enough... as a homeless teen he had been forgotten by the world... panhandling he had been looked over and through and past for too long... he had had enough... in his room at the shelter he was on the top floor... one night he was standing staring out the window... looking at whut his life had become... he decided that was it... that was all he could stand... when he woke the next morning he decided it was time to nut up or shut up... he was gonna leap from that window that night at a precise time... as he prepared for his day he took the elevator that smelled of urine and feces down to the main floor to go about his daily stuff... hustlin'... pan hndlin'... whutever it took to git thru the day... as he walked out the front doors there was caraven of school buses... he had never wished so badly to be on a school bus... just like any other kid... as he watched the buses go by he stared at the vacant eyed children... all just there... staring blankly out the window looking thru him... the darkness was overwhelming... he just could feel it... the cold creeping in... and then... there was this little black girl... she had her hair braided... bright eyes... and she saw him... she smiled and waved... now that doesn't seem like much but for someone who feels like they have been forgotten by society... that simple act... saved his life... and she will never know whut she did... just by smiling and waving she reinstilled hope in his heart... she gave him a reason to see another day... just by acknowledging that he still existed... LLLAKYFOTPA