So the day started well. Two of my bruthers from DDC had asked if they could come get a ride to church today, so, I went and picked 'em up this mornin'. The trip to church was uneventful, the weather was good, and KTIS was rollin' with some really good stuff this mornin'. As Matt and Greg settled in to the coffee shop I ran to my leadership small group for Skyline. When I returned they were relaxing and just seeming to unwind from being able to not have to be surrounded by the chaos of their everyday life. At church, it was just one of those days. When the sermon just seems God directed, the praise and worship seemed God inspired, one of those times where you could feel it, where if you glanced quickly enough you could catch the angels high fivin' folks as they ran through the place. Then Pastor started his sermon, and as he began, it was everything that Matt, Greg, and I had been talking about all week. Heh, I love how God just does His thing. So there we were and as the end neared there came the altar call. A time when pastor asks folks if they need anything prayed about, and if they do, to please come forward so that a prayer group could pray for them. As pastor was finishing his sentence, Matt headed up, I think I was in awe, two weeks ago, Matt would dodge me like I was the plague at the DDC, and now, he was not only in church, but going forward. I was speechless, I stood in awe for a few minutes and then followed him up to pray with him.
By the time we got out of church, it had started, the snow was coming, and not only that, but BTM still had lunch to serve. We made the slow trek up 35E, the plows hadn't been able to make it out yet, so we made our own trail. When we got there, the bulk of the BTM frontline crew was already setting up. I said a quick prayer of thanks. One thing, there have been alot of folks who come to the shelter to 'help out', so many different churches, groups, and so on. Well, many of those groups start with a big bang, and then fizzle. Today, BTM stood outside, and brought what we always bring, of course none of that would be possible without the folks who do all that they do and prepare all of the tasty treats. As I walked through the shelter to lets folks know that we were here, I was met with kinda perplexed looks, and alot of 'cool''s. When I was talking to a few of the guys later, I was told, 'you guys are the only guys who keep on comin', the Jesus truck didin't even show yesterday.' The 'jesus truck' is another great outreach who also bring hot meals to folks who need it, but I guess BTM was the only crew on the street yesterday.
I had a hard moment yesterday, as the Wild game let out the fans cam streaming out of the Exel Center doors. Out of the thousands of people, I sat in silent disgust as folks would go out of their way to not make eye contact or even respond when some of the DDC residents would friendly say, 'Hello', or 'Beautiful day, God bless you.' They filed past the lines with unseeing eyes, unhearing ears, and silence, I was touched when one of the guys from the shelter said, 'I feel sorry for those folks, I'm gonna pray for them tonight.' I dare say we had just as much fun in the snow that we have had in fair weather. It was a great day. I love each and every one of you and God does too. LLLAKYFOTPA
Monday, February 21, 2011
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
How God walks through the Gates of Hell
Today was another day of wonderment and awe. It went from watching God walk through the doors, and just trying to keep up. I hear many different references to the DDC. It has been refered to as, The Gates of Hell, The place where angels fear to tread, The Devil's Stronghold, The place where dreams go to die and may other things as such. At the same right, I have heard many positive things. It is hard at times to see the works of God there, you become innundated with so much negativiy at it's primal level. Recently a man was targeted and run down in a parking lot, he was killed, the only thing that people can figure out, he was killed for being homeless. There are also two more 8 x 11 memoriams for two others who no longer roam the halls. Once again, some will ignore the memoriams for they have become numb to them, but you will also see people who will stop, look at them, and write a small note on them, like 'I love you, you will be missed', 'I will miss your smiling face', or 'you are in a place of no sorrow or suffering now, please pray for us that are left behind.' It is a place where people have come when the rest of society has written them off. A place where 'dreams go to die.' And yet, today I was honored to pray for someone new, I listened to a debate between 4 people on how, 'you reap what you sow', was able to play some music with some other talented artists, was asked for a bible, met some new brothers and sisters, was able to give some much needed sleeping and survival equipment to folks who desperately needed it, watched 3 strangers help a man who is terminally ill and on his last leg to get his bed ready, and to hold a bible study. All in one day. God is good.
The morning had been a good morning, we had been discussing Saul who became Paul, and some of the scripture he had written. I have always felt very akin to Paul, since things in my life have changed some, I can relate, and so can many others. We had been reading 2 Corinthians and discussing it. Funny part, that is how our daily discussions have changed, I have had the priviledge to see the converstions change from, who had what and how was it going to be used for, to everyone sharing their theories and thoughts on so many different sections of the bible and how it related to their lives and how they could just see and feel these things that the bible spoke of. From miracles and wonders to the many temptations that the devil and his crew laid before all of us on a daily basis. We had all spoke of how we felt, unadulterated and understanding one another. The best part of it, when this started, it was me and Two Wheeler Greg, and now, there are about a dozen of us who join in the debates and conversations. How cool is that?
We had all gone our seperate ways for lunch, and I was on my way back. I have been told on multiple times that I am allowed very unlimited access to the DDC, it has been a blessing, but at the same right I would prefer to be treated not as staff their, but as if I was a client. In that, I decided to wait outside and just hang out until the doors were unlocked and everyone could come in for dinner. As I stood outside I started hearing a fairly heated debate. As I neared I could hear 3 people distinctly debating hope, sin, 'we reap what we sow', and Lucifer 'the most beautiful angel', I quietly leaned against one of the large concrete columns by the door and just enjoyed the debate. There were 2 men and a woman all talking about how 'God's blessings will flow out on God's time', and how 'we reap what we sow'. As they were debating that, the crowd grew and grew. The doors of the DDC are locked for cleaning until dinner time, but the folks know that the closer you are to the head of the line, the better your chances are of eating a hearty meal. Now on a normal day you can hear the anger, frustration, fear, apathy, and hardship among the crowd. Not today. The crowd seemed transfixed by the whole discussion, they would interrupt from time to time to ask someone to clarify what they were discussing, but the crowd almost seemed intent on hearing what these folks had to say. There were a couple of points while discussing sin, the devil, and how demons could come and fill an empty temple that a few of the folks got very disturbed and walked off, one shouting profanity and blasphemy as he walked away. But even with that, it was a much quieter, more serene dinner crowd at the doors.
After dinner, I was asked if we could have bible study, I quickly agreed. the best part of that, when we started to settle in and get ready for it, quite of a few of the folks that I have been meeting and speaking with down there found reasons to stop by and ask what we were doing, and then upon finding out quickly asked if they could join us. It was amazing. Also at that time , one of my guitar players stopped by and 'just wanted to say hey', well during that, 'hey', he slipped out, 'i think i might pick up a bible and read it sometime, i might go get one of them that they keep at the motels or somethin..' Yesterday, I had been given a bible by a brother of mine, he had told me. 'this is a recovery bible that I was given when I first went sober, I got a new bible, and I wanted to give this one to you just in case someone needed it.' The reality, the man who 'mentioned' that he was going to steal a bible from a motel so he could read it, is an addict. I just found myself in awe of how God just does His thing. Yesterday I was given a recovery bible, today I had it in my possesion to hand to an addict on a quest for God.
Two Wheeler Greg found scripture from Matthew that we read and discussed in our bibke study. He has many many study pamphlets that he has kept, 'just in case'. Of course the one he chose fit like a glove. As that ended I was asked to play a few tunes. So Tawa got out his drum, and I grabbed the guitar, and we played songs from John Denver to Bob Marley, and he even started singing along with a worship song that I have been sneaking into the Jam Session every chance I get. As we were praying I watched 3 men, only one of who knew the fourth man personally, lay out his mat and his things and get him ready for bed. He is terminally ill, he is not very mobile at all and uses a walker. The 3 men laid out his mat, got his blankets and sheets ready, and ever so gently lowered this man down to his bed. I could see it from my vantage point where I was playing. Not one man made a crass comment or anything, they just simply and humbly came together to make sure this man would be comfortable for the night, and that he would not suffer any more than he already was. Once he was situated they all went their seperate ways, not asking for anyone's praise or self seeking in any way. Just 3 men helping their brother in a time of need and using love and compassion to make his world better if only for a few minutes.
I guess all I can really say, in the past few weeks I have been blessed to see a change begin at the DDC, I have seen miracles and wonders. I have seen folks start to hope in a place labeled 'where dreams go to die', and what is hope? a dream. I discussed a thought with one of the newer folks there earlier today. It was said, 'I feel like this is the end of my life, this is where my life has led to, and now, there is nothing left, only me, and I just don't want to be here anymore.' To which I was given to say, 'Have you ever considered that instead of it being the end of your life, it's just the end of a really bad chapter in it, and now you get to start with a completely new chapter, maybe even written by a new author?'. They replied, 'never thought of it that way.' They then smiled, and during the bible study said some wonderful and profound things about life and chapters. I love each and every one of you and God does too. LLLAKYFOTPA
The morning had been a good morning, we had been discussing Saul who became Paul, and some of the scripture he had written. I have always felt very akin to Paul, since things in my life have changed some, I can relate, and so can many others. We had been reading 2 Corinthians and discussing it. Funny part, that is how our daily discussions have changed, I have had the priviledge to see the converstions change from, who had what and how was it going to be used for, to everyone sharing their theories and thoughts on so many different sections of the bible and how it related to their lives and how they could just see and feel these things that the bible spoke of. From miracles and wonders to the many temptations that the devil and his crew laid before all of us on a daily basis. We had all spoke of how we felt, unadulterated and understanding one another. The best part of it, when this started, it was me and Two Wheeler Greg, and now, there are about a dozen of us who join in the debates and conversations. How cool is that?
We had all gone our seperate ways for lunch, and I was on my way back. I have been told on multiple times that I am allowed very unlimited access to the DDC, it has been a blessing, but at the same right I would prefer to be treated not as staff their, but as if I was a client. In that, I decided to wait outside and just hang out until the doors were unlocked and everyone could come in for dinner. As I stood outside I started hearing a fairly heated debate. As I neared I could hear 3 people distinctly debating hope, sin, 'we reap what we sow', and Lucifer 'the most beautiful angel', I quietly leaned against one of the large concrete columns by the door and just enjoyed the debate. There were 2 men and a woman all talking about how 'God's blessings will flow out on God's time', and how 'we reap what we sow'. As they were debating that, the crowd grew and grew. The doors of the DDC are locked for cleaning until dinner time, but the folks know that the closer you are to the head of the line, the better your chances are of eating a hearty meal. Now on a normal day you can hear the anger, frustration, fear, apathy, and hardship among the crowd. Not today. The crowd seemed transfixed by the whole discussion, they would interrupt from time to time to ask someone to clarify what they were discussing, but the crowd almost seemed intent on hearing what these folks had to say. There were a couple of points while discussing sin, the devil, and how demons could come and fill an empty temple that a few of the folks got very disturbed and walked off, one shouting profanity and blasphemy as he walked away. But even with that, it was a much quieter, more serene dinner crowd at the doors.
After dinner, I was asked if we could have bible study, I quickly agreed. the best part of that, when we started to settle in and get ready for it, quite of a few of the folks that I have been meeting and speaking with down there found reasons to stop by and ask what we were doing, and then upon finding out quickly asked if they could join us. It was amazing. Also at that time , one of my guitar players stopped by and 'just wanted to say hey', well during that, 'hey', he slipped out, 'i think i might pick up a bible and read it sometime, i might go get one of them that they keep at the motels or somethin..' Yesterday, I had been given a bible by a brother of mine, he had told me. 'this is a recovery bible that I was given when I first went sober, I got a new bible, and I wanted to give this one to you just in case someone needed it.' The reality, the man who 'mentioned' that he was going to steal a bible from a motel so he could read it, is an addict. I just found myself in awe of how God just does His thing. Yesterday I was given a recovery bible, today I had it in my possesion to hand to an addict on a quest for God.
Two Wheeler Greg found scripture from Matthew that we read and discussed in our bibke study. He has many many study pamphlets that he has kept, 'just in case'. Of course the one he chose fit like a glove. As that ended I was asked to play a few tunes. So Tawa got out his drum, and I grabbed the guitar, and we played songs from John Denver to Bob Marley, and he even started singing along with a worship song that I have been sneaking into the Jam Session every chance I get. As we were praying I watched 3 men, only one of who knew the fourth man personally, lay out his mat and his things and get him ready for bed. He is terminally ill, he is not very mobile at all and uses a walker. The 3 men laid out his mat, got his blankets and sheets ready, and ever so gently lowered this man down to his bed. I could see it from my vantage point where I was playing. Not one man made a crass comment or anything, they just simply and humbly came together to make sure this man would be comfortable for the night, and that he would not suffer any more than he already was. Once he was situated they all went their seperate ways, not asking for anyone's praise or self seeking in any way. Just 3 men helping their brother in a time of need and using love and compassion to make his world better if only for a few minutes.
I guess all I can really say, in the past few weeks I have been blessed to see a change begin at the DDC, I have seen miracles and wonders. I have seen folks start to hope in a place labeled 'where dreams go to die', and what is hope? a dream. I discussed a thought with one of the newer folks there earlier today. It was said, 'I feel like this is the end of my life, this is where my life has led to, and now, there is nothing left, only me, and I just don't want to be here anymore.' To which I was given to say, 'Have you ever considered that instead of it being the end of your life, it's just the end of a really bad chapter in it, and now you get to start with a completely new chapter, maybe even written by a new author?'. They replied, 'never thought of it that way.' They then smiled, and during the bible study said some wonderful and profound things about life and chapters. I love each and every one of you and God does too. LLLAKYFOTPA
Monday, February 14, 2011
A day of love
Today was a phenominal day at the DDC. It was electric, unbelievable, and yet, just God inspired. I have been bringing a brother down to the DDC with me on a regular occasion, his name is Johnny Smith and he is a very impressive man of God, he has jumped into the shelter with both feet which is very impressive, but I suppose when you are able to have a good deep faith base, there is no more fear. As we went through our day it seemed like it was a day of wonder and awe, and love. Not a romantic love, but the true love, an unconditional love for your fellow human being.
I have had the priviledge to see God not only enter the DDC, but today, I feel like He has really taken root. My new found brother Matt is such a case. Matt was a ward of the state for a long time, a product of foster homes and wrong choices. Well, one week ago, Matt accepted the Lord into his life and has also been sober since then. In that time I have been privy to a beautiful transformation. Matt and I have been down many of the same life paths, a life of violence and addiction. A life of apathy for the world, and selfish ways to make our own ways. In turn I have felt a kindered with Matt almost from the beginning. Two Wheeler Greg introduced me to Matt a short time ago, but since he was in his old life, and I have been doing my best to walk in the new one that I was given, he didn't want to have much to do with me. Until the day that Greg brought him to me and said, 'this is my friend Matt, he was wondering if you would pray for him.' I quickly agreed, I consider it an honor and a priviledge anytime someone requests that of me.
The center was especially busy that day, and there was alot of commotion, it was one of those days where everyone has a chip on their shoulder and wants to fight. As Greg asked me this question, I caught a glimpse of Matt's eyes, and knew all too well that look, as I had seen it in my own eyes time and time again as I quested to see who I truly was and what my purpose in life was. It was a look of being lost, tired, alone, angry, and afraid. A look of disbelief in myself and if I even had a purpose in life. Before I could second guess myself, I had agreed. Since the DDC was in the stage that it was we decided to head to Listening House, another day shelter where people can escape the streets for a few hours, to try and bring some sanity to their day, but it was also packed to the gills and had the same feeling to it. We requested that we were able to use one of their side rooms, but unfortunately, they were all being used. I could see the desperation in Matt's face, and it was like Johnny could feel the same thing, so we decided to find a quiet place where we could pray, we all hopped into my truck and headed to the Frogtown McD's. When we got there we grabbed some drinks so we wouldn't be ejected for loitering, and prayed. Now, I have been told that I am an awesome prayer warrior, but at the same right, I am not used to holding that title yet, and I may never be, but I started praying. All I can say is thank you God for giving me the words to pray, for it was elegant, precise, and to the point, so, for me, it was His prayer, not mine. As we finished Matt seemed very relieved, and spoke of how he felt better, and what he felt had happened to him during that prayer. It has been almost a week since that day, and in that time Matt has been moving at lightning's pace with his spirituality. He has been reading a bible I gave him almost constanly, praying, and debating biblical scripture with Two Wheeler Greg and the others that have started to amass in our group.
Which brings me to today, I had headed down to do my thing, and had a great and wonderful morning with the folks down there, had run to check on a few of my guys who are not shelter folks, I guess I'll call them the Frogtown Wendy's Crew. I had returned to the DDC and was headed back to see Matt, I had told him that I would walk with him to a place close by so he could get a new t-shirt, as the one he was wearing was way too large and had seen much better days. We tend to travel in packs down there as it is a place where anything can happen in the blink of an eye, and there is safety in numbers. As I approached the courtyard, I could see Matt sitting with Greg and a new person. Her name is Nikki, she was originally from Ohio, and had run away from an abusive household at a young age, she had made her way across the United States to Portland to where she had lived a vagabond lifestyle for many years. Somehow she had made her way back east, and was trying to start over, I think we all know how that feels, just trying to get a good start, trying to start over. As I approached, I heard her say, 'I hate God, all I can think about is how come He left me like this.' After a life of addiction to escape the torments of her past, she has multiple health issues, and has not had the ability to properly take care of herself. 'I sometimes feel like He doesn't hate me, but I hate Him.' As I was trying to figure out how to softly address this, Matt spoke up, I would love to be able to type down what he said, but I think I was as transfixed by his words as she was. He was eloquent and soft, and expressed his life, and how God had fashioned him a new life, and how his feelings toward God had mirrored hers, until that day at McD's. I was floored. As I sat there in shock, Matt, looked at me and said,'hey Preach, can we pray for her?' I could feel the angels cheering, but that cheer was about to turn into a deafening roar, he finished with, 'and if it's ok with you, I would like to lead the prayer.' I could feel my eyes well up behind my sunglasses, I quickly agreed.
As many of you know, it has been a overcast day, we bowed our heads and started to pray. Once again, Matt came forward with this regal eloquence, and once again I would love to type out exactly what he prayed, so I could share it with you, but I was lost in the moment. The most wonderful part, as we began to pray, lierally as we all bowed our heads and became lost in the prayer, God opened the clouds and we were able to bask in the sun's glow, the sun stayed out for the prayer, and then quickly was covered again by the clouds as we came to 'amen'. I can say that not one of us was untouched for that breif moment. We then spent the rest of our day discussing what had happened, and how God had lead each one of our lives to that single moment. I think that we all would agree, if we had not led our lives in any other way, we would not have all been in the same place, at the same time, for that precise moment. The question that is asked alot down there, and I am willing to believe, many other places, is this, 'Why does all of this stuff happen in my life, why?' Well, for me, today, if I hadn't led my life the way I had, every single moment, every single second. That moment may not have happened, many of the most wonderful wonderous moments of my life may not have happened, because by sopme other decision, I may have not been able to make it to that moment. I pray that we all realize that our God is an awesome God, and every plan that He has is perfect, even if we cannot see His plan, we must learn to trust in Him and believe that if we have faith, He will show us His plan. In His time, not ours. LLLAKYFOTPA
I have had the priviledge to see God not only enter the DDC, but today, I feel like He has really taken root. My new found brother Matt is such a case. Matt was a ward of the state for a long time, a product of foster homes and wrong choices. Well, one week ago, Matt accepted the Lord into his life and has also been sober since then. In that time I have been privy to a beautiful transformation. Matt and I have been down many of the same life paths, a life of violence and addiction. A life of apathy for the world, and selfish ways to make our own ways. In turn I have felt a kindered with Matt almost from the beginning. Two Wheeler Greg introduced me to Matt a short time ago, but since he was in his old life, and I have been doing my best to walk in the new one that I was given, he didn't want to have much to do with me. Until the day that Greg brought him to me and said, 'this is my friend Matt, he was wondering if you would pray for him.' I quickly agreed, I consider it an honor and a priviledge anytime someone requests that of me.
The center was especially busy that day, and there was alot of commotion, it was one of those days where everyone has a chip on their shoulder and wants to fight. As Greg asked me this question, I caught a glimpse of Matt's eyes, and knew all too well that look, as I had seen it in my own eyes time and time again as I quested to see who I truly was and what my purpose in life was. It was a look of being lost, tired, alone, angry, and afraid. A look of disbelief in myself and if I even had a purpose in life. Before I could second guess myself, I had agreed. Since the DDC was in the stage that it was we decided to head to Listening House, another day shelter where people can escape the streets for a few hours, to try and bring some sanity to their day, but it was also packed to the gills and had the same feeling to it. We requested that we were able to use one of their side rooms, but unfortunately, they were all being used. I could see the desperation in Matt's face, and it was like Johnny could feel the same thing, so we decided to find a quiet place where we could pray, we all hopped into my truck and headed to the Frogtown McD's. When we got there we grabbed some drinks so we wouldn't be ejected for loitering, and prayed. Now, I have been told that I am an awesome prayer warrior, but at the same right, I am not used to holding that title yet, and I may never be, but I started praying. All I can say is thank you God for giving me the words to pray, for it was elegant, precise, and to the point, so, for me, it was His prayer, not mine. As we finished Matt seemed very relieved, and spoke of how he felt better, and what he felt had happened to him during that prayer. It has been almost a week since that day, and in that time Matt has been moving at lightning's pace with his spirituality. He has been reading a bible I gave him almost constanly, praying, and debating biblical scripture with Two Wheeler Greg and the others that have started to amass in our group.
Which brings me to today, I had headed down to do my thing, and had a great and wonderful morning with the folks down there, had run to check on a few of my guys who are not shelter folks, I guess I'll call them the Frogtown Wendy's Crew. I had returned to the DDC and was headed back to see Matt, I had told him that I would walk with him to a place close by so he could get a new t-shirt, as the one he was wearing was way too large and had seen much better days. We tend to travel in packs down there as it is a place where anything can happen in the blink of an eye, and there is safety in numbers. As I approached the courtyard, I could see Matt sitting with Greg and a new person. Her name is Nikki, she was originally from Ohio, and had run away from an abusive household at a young age, she had made her way across the United States to Portland to where she had lived a vagabond lifestyle for many years. Somehow she had made her way back east, and was trying to start over, I think we all know how that feels, just trying to get a good start, trying to start over. As I approached, I heard her say, 'I hate God, all I can think about is how come He left me like this.' After a life of addiction to escape the torments of her past, she has multiple health issues, and has not had the ability to properly take care of herself. 'I sometimes feel like He doesn't hate me, but I hate Him.' As I was trying to figure out how to softly address this, Matt spoke up, I would love to be able to type down what he said, but I think I was as transfixed by his words as she was. He was eloquent and soft, and expressed his life, and how God had fashioned him a new life, and how his feelings toward God had mirrored hers, until that day at McD's. I was floored. As I sat there in shock, Matt, looked at me and said,'hey Preach, can we pray for her?' I could feel the angels cheering, but that cheer was about to turn into a deafening roar, he finished with, 'and if it's ok with you, I would like to lead the prayer.' I could feel my eyes well up behind my sunglasses, I quickly agreed.
As many of you know, it has been a overcast day, we bowed our heads and started to pray. Once again, Matt came forward with this regal eloquence, and once again I would love to type out exactly what he prayed, so I could share it with you, but I was lost in the moment. The most wonderful part, as we began to pray, lierally as we all bowed our heads and became lost in the prayer, God opened the clouds and we were able to bask in the sun's glow, the sun stayed out for the prayer, and then quickly was covered again by the clouds as we came to 'amen'. I can say that not one of us was untouched for that breif moment. We then spent the rest of our day discussing what had happened, and how God had lead each one of our lives to that single moment. I think that we all would agree, if we had not led our lives in any other way, we would not have all been in the same place, at the same time, for that precise moment. The question that is asked alot down there, and I am willing to believe, many other places, is this, 'Why does all of this stuff happen in my life, why?' Well, for me, today, if I hadn't led my life the way I had, every single moment, every single second. That moment may not have happened, many of the most wonderful wonderous moments of my life may not have happened, because by sopme other decision, I may have not been able to make it to that moment. I pray that we all realize that our God is an awesome God, and every plan that He has is perfect, even if we cannot see His plan, we must learn to trust in Him and believe that if we have faith, He will show us His plan. In His time, not ours. LLLAKYFOTPA
Friday, February 11, 2011
Life on two wheels
I met 'Two Wheeler Greg' Christmas night, I had gone down to the DDC to try and be of service and to spread a Christmas cheer that I had missed all day long. I had gone through the motions, I had thoughly enjoy watching the look on my son's face as he routed through his gifts, but something was missing. I had lost my Christmas Spirit. I had stepped outside for a cigarette, and yes, I know it's a bad habit, and I hope to quit someday, but if I hadn't had stepped outside, I would have missed it. I quickly excused myself past a few folks, and was greeted with, 'you better say excuse me, do you know who he is?!' in a very crass New York accent. I quickly turned to see three men. A man about my age, a man in a wheelchair, and a man with a cane. The first man, was the one who had spoke to me, and so I turned to him, and quickly replied, 'I'm sorry, and no, I don't know who he is.' The first thought through my head,'great, this has been on of those days, it's Christmas, and I am gonna just top this whole stupid day off by getting into a fight at a homeless shelter.' The man with the New York accent quickly replied,'This is Two Wheeler Greg', motioning to the man with the cane, and then quickly motioning to the man in the chair,' and this is Larry the Angry Wheelchair Guy, they're gonna have their own cable talk show real soon.' I didn't know what to think, as I was trying to figure this whol thing out, Larry piped in, 'F you Tommy', to which in the blink of an eye Tommy fired back, 'Now that's why we call him Larry the Angry Wheelchair Guy', and then quickly flipping into a yiddish accent, looked at Larry, and rhetorted, 'now Larry, you know they're not gonna let you on national tv with language like that.' A smile started to spread across my face. As Tommy finished that off, Two Wheeler Greg, quickly chimed in, 'Yeah, and this is Tommy Bags, he's our publicist, but as you can see, he's not that good at it, since we all are homeless.' I barrel laughed. That began my friendship with the 3 of them.
Each one of them has a significant story behind the chain of events that led all 3 of them to survival on the streets, and I'm sure sooner or later their back stories will get out, but today I am gonna talk about my friend Greg. I have mentioned him before, he is one of the folks who is what I call my supply line. He is able to be my eyes and ears on the street to who needs what, where and when. There are so many stories I could tell you about him, and the funniest part, he doesn't tell them for the most part, it's the people that are his 'street family'. When you are homeless there is safety in numbers, and just like in other areas of society, it's all about making connections, except many of these conections, insure your survival. Necessities to survival can be difficult to come by in the shelter, sleeping bags, boots, socks, hats, gloves, and excedrin. In that, there become folks like Greg, when things are few and far between, he is there, with his Two Wheeler, the kind that you would put a couple of bags on at the airport. Funny part, Greg is very mobile on the street and buslines, so many of you may have seen him along the way, hauling his two wheeler, packed to the gills with various items. When you see him and those items you will probably assume that those are all his, well you're wrong, those are items that he has specifically amassed to supply those who need it most, and he is on foot, or bus route, delivering those items to folks who can't make it to him to get them. More than once I have seen someone come up to him, hug him, and thank him for whatever item he had found for them and how much it made the difference in their life. Things like, 'thanks dad, if I hadn't gotten that sleeping bag from you I woulda froze to death last night with that deep freeze that came in.' 'man, I don't know where you got that excedrin from, you were such a Godsend I had that headache for two days.' 'If I hadn't gotten them socks from you my feet woulda got frosbite for sure.'
The most endearing part of Greg, he doesn't have to be there, he is an intelligent man, with a good head on his shoulders. I asked him why he did what he did once. He just looked at me and said, 'I can't leave yet, God hasn't paved my way, alot of these folks depend on me for survival, when it's time for me to go, God will pave a way out of here for me, until then, they need me.' I have wandered with Greg on many occasions, I feel like he has just paved a path for me in there, we have held bible studies, debated theological questions, prayed for folks who needed it, and just shared our joy and faith in a God who loves us and walks freely through places that are often referred to as 'The Devil's Stronghold', 'The Gates of Hell', and 'The place where angel's fear to tread'. We are in agreement, yes, the shelters can be all of the above, but at the same right, it is a place where God, hope, and love are needed the most, and we both feel drawn if not called to be the bearers of that in this place, and in turn we both agree that we have been given a wonderful gift to be able to see on a daily basis, the miracles and wonders of God's grace, and the things that faith, hope, prayer and love can do. I have not been writing much since recently my laptop has deciced that it will only type out so much at certain times and then likes to go blank, in turn losing everything that I wrote, but I guess tonight I wanted to try and tell you of my friend and brother, Two Wheeler Greg, and it was a good night to type it out. One of the Gregisms I picked up along the way, 'You can make anything of life, wherever you are, I'm just thankful that God keeps on telling me, keep on going Greg, every morning I wake up that's His message to me, I know that, cuz I woke up.' I love each and every one of you and God does too.
Each one of them has a significant story behind the chain of events that led all 3 of them to survival on the streets, and I'm sure sooner or later their back stories will get out, but today I am gonna talk about my friend Greg. I have mentioned him before, he is one of the folks who is what I call my supply line. He is able to be my eyes and ears on the street to who needs what, where and when. There are so many stories I could tell you about him, and the funniest part, he doesn't tell them for the most part, it's the people that are his 'street family'. When you are homeless there is safety in numbers, and just like in other areas of society, it's all about making connections, except many of these conections, insure your survival. Necessities to survival can be difficult to come by in the shelter, sleeping bags, boots, socks, hats, gloves, and excedrin. In that, there become folks like Greg, when things are few and far between, he is there, with his Two Wheeler, the kind that you would put a couple of bags on at the airport. Funny part, Greg is very mobile on the street and buslines, so many of you may have seen him along the way, hauling his two wheeler, packed to the gills with various items. When you see him and those items you will probably assume that those are all his, well you're wrong, those are items that he has specifically amassed to supply those who need it most, and he is on foot, or bus route, delivering those items to folks who can't make it to him to get them. More than once I have seen someone come up to him, hug him, and thank him for whatever item he had found for them and how much it made the difference in their life. Things like, 'thanks dad, if I hadn't gotten that sleeping bag from you I woulda froze to death last night with that deep freeze that came in.' 'man, I don't know where you got that excedrin from, you were such a Godsend I had that headache for two days.' 'If I hadn't gotten them socks from you my feet woulda got frosbite for sure.'
The most endearing part of Greg, he doesn't have to be there, he is an intelligent man, with a good head on his shoulders. I asked him why he did what he did once. He just looked at me and said, 'I can't leave yet, God hasn't paved my way, alot of these folks depend on me for survival, when it's time for me to go, God will pave a way out of here for me, until then, they need me.' I have wandered with Greg on many occasions, I feel like he has just paved a path for me in there, we have held bible studies, debated theological questions, prayed for folks who needed it, and just shared our joy and faith in a God who loves us and walks freely through places that are often referred to as 'The Devil's Stronghold', 'The Gates of Hell', and 'The place where angel's fear to tread'. We are in agreement, yes, the shelters can be all of the above, but at the same right, it is a place where God, hope, and love are needed the most, and we both feel drawn if not called to be the bearers of that in this place, and in turn we both agree that we have been given a wonderful gift to be able to see on a daily basis, the miracles and wonders of God's grace, and the things that faith, hope, prayer and love can do. I have not been writing much since recently my laptop has deciced that it will only type out so much at certain times and then likes to go blank, in turn losing everything that I wrote, but I guess tonight I wanted to try and tell you of my friend and brother, Two Wheeler Greg, and it was a good night to type it out. One of the Gregisms I picked up along the way, 'You can make anything of life, wherever you are, I'm just thankful that God keeps on telling me, keep on going Greg, every morning I wake up that's His message to me, I know that, cuz I woke up.' I love each and every one of you and God does too.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
The Unseen
I have been sick lately and so I have not been able to be down at the DDC as much as I'd like to be, I do not want to spread my illness around. Especially in a shelter, as when you get sick in there, everyone gets it, and many are more succeptable to illness as many are not able to have the food or medicine needed to battle illness and keep a heatly immune system. In this, I have had some downtime, some have said that it was much needed since I have a tendency to burn the candle at both ends, but that's just the way I roll. In this time I have had time to reflect and ponder on why I do what I do.
I keep on having this past story coming into my head, and was brought to the front by a brother of mine who said, 'I love God, and I keep on hoping that He gives me a moment where I can share His love and grace, but it just doesn't happen. I just hope that someone asks me why is my daily devotion where it is, and I get that moment, that chance.' I told him of a personal tale of mine, one that has seemed to been brought forward more and more lately. So, here it is.
Living homeless, there is one thing more than anything else that rips your soul to shreds, makes you feel less than human, makes you feel alone and isolated to a point where you feel like you have been swallowed by a black hole, only catching erratic glimpses of the world you once knew. It is when people stop seeing you, they look through you, refusing to acknowledge your existence and even share a smile or a simple 'hello'. You have become the forgotten. In that it is a dark world within a dark world, you become a shadow of yourself.
I had become that, I had been living at the 410, a homeless shelter for women and children at the intersection of 4th and 10th in Minneapolis. I was in a world that it seemed God had walked away and forgotten us, a world of pain. In the span of an average week I would see hookers and pimps, drug deals and junkies, gangbangers and thugs, and more than my share of assaults and murders, all for things that did not seem worth a life. My first murder I ever witnessed was a man stab another man to death over a bottle of beer, a 40oz. beer, for $1.19 a man lost his life. I had had enough, I had seen what the world had to offer and I wanted off of the ride. So I had dedcided to end it all.
I lived on the top floor, I would look out every night to the park where there waxs always some type of pain or suffering, some type of evil lurking, and that night I had decided, one more day, and then I was going to toss myself out of my window, and this life of pain would be over. I was told by my social worker when I first hit the streets, 'either get tough or die kid', those were his words of advice, and I no longer felt tough enough.
I woke up that day, feeling great, my pain was coming to an end, it would all be over soon. I was going to have one last day, and was going to top it off right. I got ready, got showered and dressed, and headed down to the street for one last day of panhandling, I was 14 so I was not legal to get a job yet. As I stepped onto the street I was met by a parade of city school busses. They would weave their way through the city, picking up kids to drop them at various spots all over the city. I had never wanted to be on a school bus so much. I stared at the vacant faces of children daydreaming, wishing they were anywhere else but on that bus. I watched as bus after bus passed me by, staring into vacant eyes, just wishing and wondering. Where were they going? What was their family like? Then it happened.
On one of the last busses there sat a little black girl, her hair was neatly braided and she had a yellow shirt on, she looked at me, and she smiled and waved. That's all it took, just a smile and a wave. She had seen me, and not looked at me with disdain or disgust, she saw another kid, and just wanted to say hi. I decided not to jump because of that. I owe her my life.
My point, You may never know when you effect someone's life, I will never be able to tell her what she did that day, how her simple gesture saved my life. I will never be able to remember the bus number, what was printed on the side of that bus, or in any way know where that bus was headed. She will probably never know that due to her simple compassion she saved a life. She performed the greatest gift that anyone could ever give. So when you think or wonder if God will ever bring someone to you so you can share His love, He may have already done that, and you may just have not been aware of how profoundly one small action of yours has changed someone's life. So to the little black girl with braids in her hair and a yellow shirt who saw another human being and smiled and waved. Thank You For Saving My Life.
I love each and everyone of you and God does too. LLLAKYFOTPA
I keep on having this past story coming into my head, and was brought to the front by a brother of mine who said, 'I love God, and I keep on hoping that He gives me a moment where I can share His love and grace, but it just doesn't happen. I just hope that someone asks me why is my daily devotion where it is, and I get that moment, that chance.' I told him of a personal tale of mine, one that has seemed to been brought forward more and more lately. So, here it is.
Living homeless, there is one thing more than anything else that rips your soul to shreds, makes you feel less than human, makes you feel alone and isolated to a point where you feel like you have been swallowed by a black hole, only catching erratic glimpses of the world you once knew. It is when people stop seeing you, they look through you, refusing to acknowledge your existence and even share a smile or a simple 'hello'. You have become the forgotten. In that it is a dark world within a dark world, you become a shadow of yourself.
I had become that, I had been living at the 410, a homeless shelter for women and children at the intersection of 4th and 10th in Minneapolis. I was in a world that it seemed God had walked away and forgotten us, a world of pain. In the span of an average week I would see hookers and pimps, drug deals and junkies, gangbangers and thugs, and more than my share of assaults and murders, all for things that did not seem worth a life. My first murder I ever witnessed was a man stab another man to death over a bottle of beer, a 40oz. beer, for $1.19 a man lost his life. I had had enough, I had seen what the world had to offer and I wanted off of the ride. So I had dedcided to end it all.
I lived on the top floor, I would look out every night to the park where there waxs always some type of pain or suffering, some type of evil lurking, and that night I had decided, one more day, and then I was going to toss myself out of my window, and this life of pain would be over. I was told by my social worker when I first hit the streets, 'either get tough or die kid', those were his words of advice, and I no longer felt tough enough.
I woke up that day, feeling great, my pain was coming to an end, it would all be over soon. I was going to have one last day, and was going to top it off right. I got ready, got showered and dressed, and headed down to the street for one last day of panhandling, I was 14 so I was not legal to get a job yet. As I stepped onto the street I was met by a parade of city school busses. They would weave their way through the city, picking up kids to drop them at various spots all over the city. I had never wanted to be on a school bus so much. I stared at the vacant faces of children daydreaming, wishing they were anywhere else but on that bus. I watched as bus after bus passed me by, staring into vacant eyes, just wishing and wondering. Where were they going? What was their family like? Then it happened.
On one of the last busses there sat a little black girl, her hair was neatly braided and she had a yellow shirt on, she looked at me, and she smiled and waved. That's all it took, just a smile and a wave. She had seen me, and not looked at me with disdain or disgust, she saw another kid, and just wanted to say hi. I decided not to jump because of that. I owe her my life.
My point, You may never know when you effect someone's life, I will never be able to tell her what she did that day, how her simple gesture saved my life. I will never be able to remember the bus number, what was printed on the side of that bus, or in any way know where that bus was headed. She will probably never know that due to her simple compassion she saved a life. She performed the greatest gift that anyone could ever give. So when you think or wonder if God will ever bring someone to you so you can share His love, He may have already done that, and you may just have not been aware of how profoundly one small action of yours has changed someone's life. So to the little black girl with braids in her hair and a yellow shirt who saw another human being and smiled and waved. Thank You For Saving My Life.
I love each and everyone of you and God does too. LLLAKYFOTPA
Thursday, February 3, 2011
The Cracks In The Street
Every day the shelters close for a few hours during sections of the day to do necessary cleaning, maintenance, and many other things that just can’t be accomplished during a time when hundreds of people are constantly milling about. During those times folks take to the streets, there are places set up to go so that they aren’t turned out in the cold, for the most part, but at the same right, some of the places that you would think would be ok to go, well, they are made to feel unwelcome or just downright told they can’t be there.
On one of these excursions I walked along with my brother Jim, now Jim is a guy who is what most would consider a vagrant, bum, useless, or any other of the many stereotypes that go along with the way he looks. His long beard, which shelters his cheeks neck and chin from the howling –25 winds that he is exposed to on a daily basis. The oversized baggy coat and snow pants, also used to do the same and also the oversized helps to pile necessary layers on the frigid nights where the temperatures and wind chills combined will cause frostbite in a matter of seconds.
Jim is a brilliant man, he starts out his day filling out various crossword puzzles, most of them to completion. One of them that I have seen him fill out, The New York Times Crossword, not partially, but completely, and at a rate of speed that there can be no other conclusion other than the man is a shear genius. Yet, here he is, wandering the streets, he has a tale, but this isn’t the time to tell it.
We were walking towards one of these places a middle area, and just chatting, about nothing and everything. As we approached an intersection I noticed an area of the road that had worn away, in turn a large section of road had come out, underneath that section of road, cobblestones. It was like he read my mind, he looked at me with is unflinching steel blue eyes that seemed to carve a path out from underneath his layers of hats right into my heart, and simply said, ‘funny, how no matter how much the city grows up around it, there’s still that foundation, they look at it as a flaw, but it is just a part of the city that has been forgotten and buried.’ We walked in silence for the next few minutes, somehow I have this feeling that Jim knew exactly what he had just said to me, how it had struck my heart and just wanted me to think on that. Jim is always one of the guys who has those insights for me.
All, I could think of was, they have been doing this for over 100 years, and now instead of structures, it was people. People, living, breathing, joking, laughing, smiling, crying people, that were being forgotten and buried beneath a city. A city that was built by so many of these peoples ancestors, Jim will tell you he was born and raised here, his dad worked on the river, built most of the steel structure bridges that you can still see along the riverfront, and that some of his favorite childhood memories were of when he’d go fishing on that riverfront back when, ‘the water was pretty clean’. He had gotten a job as an engineer for a steel company, and had done decently for himself, and through a chain of bad events, which included the deaths of his wife and one of his children in a car accident, he was homeless. He still gets some benefits, but not enough tto get by on, so he does what he has to do to get by, mostly camping, and relying on the kindness of strangers.
All I could think of was that his family had build this city, their blood sweat, and tears, supplied out streets, lights, and buildings with it’s life blood, and what does he get out of it? After all of this, the ability to get kicked out of the skyway system when he tries to get warm. A public place, that has been paid for by we the people, and he gets run out of there, because the city wants to try and hide the parts it no longer deems worthy. That’s a great thanks. I asked him once about that, he just said, ‘I’m too old to argue anymore.’ Me, I wanted to punch the first rent-a-cop I saw.
One more quick note, Jim is not a drinker, most would instantly assume that ‘looking like that he has to be an alcoholic’ , or ‘that he smells like booze’. I’m sure that some will make that assumption. The alcohol smell that permeates his coat, is actually the smell of sterno, the little things that folks use to keep buffet stuff warm. Yeah, that’s the only external warmth that this man feels some nights, as he huddles around that small burning aluminum can to survive. Why? His answer is simple, ‘I can survive out here, there’s folks who can’t, I’d rather know that my bed was given to one of those on days like this then have to roll around and wonder if while I’m warn some kid is gonna freeze.’
True greatness is achieved when someone is suffering and hurting and you make the decision, the willfull decision, to take their place. Other people in the past have done thing like that, the one at the top of my mind, this guy from the desert, He did that before, suffered for his fellow man when he didn’t have to, just because he felt the compassion and love that it takes to sacrifice for someone else… His name was Jesus… maybe you’ve heard of Him. So with that, you are in very good company Jim.
I love each and every one of you and God does too. LLLAKYFOTPA
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